ARGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

When you want to do so much that there's literally not enough hours in the days, weeks in the month or months in the year to make it even slightly realistic, to even contemplate making it happen. Being so stressed out that you take it out on the people that are always there when you need them the most. Letting thoughts enter into you head that if it were to actually happen it would tear your heart out. Welcome to the start of my week.

I'll start off by mentioning how lucky i am. How, lately things have just fallen into my lap. Not for any particular reason, but they just have. I'm having a lucky streak for a reason that myself, nor know one else knows why. I'm running with it, opening up my arms and taking it head on. Last week i was backstage of a music festival partying with musicians that i never ever thought i'd get the chance to meet in my life. I met people that have are doing so very well for themselves, that it proves that you can do anything if you work for it. I'm working for it but hitting the speed bumps along the way. It's weird how so much changes so quickly. How you have doubts one second and none in the next. For myself, re-assurance is what i constantly need. I don't like to fall back on people, but to be told that it's fine is something that i thrive off of. While the last few weeks have been astonishing, i've sat an interview for a better job, met some of the most amazing people, booked flights to go see someone who i can't stop thinking about and re-kindling friendships, i feel like i need to run or box something out. It's strange, wheather i'm worrying about something or just haven't let myself relax, stop and think... i can't really tell you. Probably both.  It's funny because the next blog i'll write will probably be so different to this one. I'll mention something along the lines of .... ...... ...well hopefully something amazing.

I miss my boyfriend, i miss alot of my friends from SA, i miss the people that continue to make me smile, but i definitely don't miss the life that i used to live. I've said this to a few friends who i hold so close to my heart, we know who we are, or more importantly know who we want to be. That is important. I hold these people so close to my heart because they're out there doing the things that they always wanted to do. These people know who they are.  We're in exactly the same place, no matter if we're on the other side of the country or on the other side of the world, if our age difference is 30 years apart, or if they're parents of five children. It's still the same. You can take it all away, but you can't change someone. I'm happy. I'm thankful for all and everything that i have. All i can do is thankyou now.

Maz.